What is more stressful for you: to dwell on a lie that is self-defeating or consider a truth that is life-giving?

LinkedIn Learning recently released statistics on job stress, so let’s use one of these stressors for an example. 

One stressor identified by 64% of those surveyed was purpose and direction at work. So ask yourself: What negative thoughts go through your head about purpose or direction when at work? And when you’re ready, try the following steps and see if you don’t experience a shift in your stress level.

1. Write it down.

Select a day you would like to try this exercise, and each time a negative thought pops up, write it down.

2. Lie or truth?

Now look at your list.  Ask yourself if your thought is a lie or a truth. Challenge yourself. Really – are you believing a lie? If you are, you are inviting stress. Why believe a lie? Really. Why? Believing the lie is like letting someone throw sand in your eyes while playing in a sandbox and not getting up to move.

3. Challenge the lie.

This step is like doing a sit-up for your brain. Challenge it hard. Push back. Question it. 

4. Say a truth in its place.

Replace the lie with a true statement. Write it down. Renew your mind – overcome the negative thought – with a truthful one. Here’s an example: 

  • Lie: “I have no purpose”
  • Truth: “I am in a job today where someone hired me to be here. I have purpose here today.”

Experiment with this practice periodically and see what happens to your level of stress. I’m hopeful you’ll find some relief and become more and more adept at overcoming negative thinking!


Curious how your leadership and relational dynamics are impacting the workplace?


I’m here to discuss your business goals and how WIT’s communication-based wellness solutions may be a fit for you.
~ Tori


Praise for Wit

Last year I made a serious effort to improve employee retention because it is key to my business success.  My employees are my best asset and I wanted to improve loyalty and morale.  I hired Tori and her team of WIT professionals as a “wellness” benefit for my employees and I have been astounded at how much it has helped.  I thought I was hiring Tori to help my employees, but as the business owner, Tori provides me a level of support that is unmatched by any HR professional or counselor.  She is my first call when I need advice and wise counsel regarding all of my business relationships.

Kathy Franklin, Owner, European Wax Center - Castro Valley, CA

As a trusted licensed marriage and family therapist for 25+ years, Tori has journeyed relationship challenges with executives, non-profit and church leaders, their families and friends.  Her expertise provides a focused approach that efficiently penetrates the mind and holds the heart. Her compassion for each situation is palatable. Her devotion to each company is impressive. The results are effective.

Tom Dowd - Owner, Dowd and Guild - San Ramon, CA
Kristi Rinehart

Tori has a knack for bringing clarity to core issues in communication and relationships in tension and then providing concrete steps forward. Her professional coaching has been instrumental in helping me navigate delicate client negotiations with integrity. I highly recommend her as a go-to advisor and coach on all things relational.

Kristi Rinehart - Principal, Rinehart Marketing - Coeur d'Alene, ID

WIT Professionals is an amazing team of professionals that helps your business improve the culture, productivity, and well-being of your workforce. Tori helps engage healthy strategies with the burdensome challenges we all face in work and life relationships. Tori is truly gifted at assisting leaders and employees with understanding their own internal and relational barriers. I cannot speak highly enough of Tori Dabasinskas.

Jeff Hunt, Founder & CEO, GOALSpan - San Francisco, CA

Our company has used Tori to assist with communication, provide clarity and new perspectives to our employees through group training sessions on Stress Management.  She has also been instrumental in supporting our management team.  Tori is an active listener, who asks deepening questions throughout the process.  This approach allows both parties a deeper understanding of the issue and helps the individual reach a solution with greater confidence.  By doing so, we are more comfortable dealing with difficult situations. 

Tina Onderbeke - Executive VP & Partner, Dowd and Guild - San Ramon, CA

Tori has a relational style that instantly creates an atmosphere of openness and mutual respect.  She has a keen ability to empower, affirm and show compassion to everyone.  She sees all sides to an issue and helps resolve communication challenges swiftly.  Her sense of humor and overflowing joy always lifts our spirits and her wisdom and giftedness has saved me hours and hours of stress. 

Kathy Franklin, Owner, European Wax Center - Castro Valley, CA

Rather than letting frustrations build and damage workplace relationships, Tori has helped us meet communication challenges by diffusing them through understanding.  Tori is a true professional who is able to put people immediately at ease and engage in meaningful conversation, which ultimately leads to better decision making and solutions.

Tina Onderbeke - Executive VP & Partner, Dowd and Guild - San Ramon, CA
Valley Dental Group - Dr. Kane, Dr. Chan, Dr. St. Marie

We really loved having Tori and Mary-Beth speak to our company. It was one of the most professional and personally beneficial staff meetings we have had to date. We loved having their perspective on personalities and inter office relationships and really striving to know ourselves better so that we can interact better as a team. They are a wonderful asset to our company!

Dr. Kane, Dr. Chan and Dr. St. Marie, Valley Dental Group - Renton, WA


Executive Director at WIT Professionals
WIT Professionals Executive Director, Tori Dabasinskas, is vivacious, compassionate, and professional, with a reputation for honoring and respecting the critical role relational health plays in thriving businesses. She brings 25+ years of trusted individual/family counseling (LMFT, LPCC) and small business and non-profit training experience.

Latest posts by Tori (see all)